MDTV interviews Haq Jeelani


We’re proud to announce we’re already awarded the Joo-Poo Peace price for this initiative by SCHMUCK  (Society of Chummy Hardliners & Maoists Undercover for Covert operations in Kashmir)

Damn, it’s really cold out here in Kashmir, and I’m out to meet to the Lord of the stonepelters, Hawk Geelani  – HJ in short (I now realize the title is misspelled). Though the whole world knows that I shall support the stonepelters once the interview is published, I’ve taken 4 disgusting men from the police forces, just in case some nut case starts pelting stones at me for my not-so-pleasing hairdo!

I finally meet Mr Geelani in his hide out, and offered a bunch of goodies that is mostly financed by the disgusting Govt of India from Delhi, and after I’m made comfortable, we start off with the interview.

BD – Mr Jeelani, What do you think is the root cause for the recent spurt in violence across the valley?

HJ – Azadi!

BD – Mr Jeelani, what do the youth of Kashmir really want?

HJ – Azadi!

BD – Who do you think is responsible for the deaths of innocent civilians in Kashmir?

HJ – Azadi!

BD – Do you think India will ever agree to your demands?

HJ – Azadi!

BD – Under the prevailing conditions,would a plebiscite, under the auspices of the UN, satisfy you and your followers?

HJ – Azadi!

I’m most annoyed by now, as you can imagine, by repetitive answers to not-even-remotely connected questions, and just a question away from declaring “HJ” Haram and clinically insane.

BD – What would you call a theocratic state, ruled by you, subjugating the minorities, cleansing Kashmir of the few Sikhs left, banning music and movies and fine arts, enforcing the burqa, destroying schools and colleges and making the worship of a single God the sole profession of all the masses of Kashmir?

HJ – Azadi!

Now that my doubts are confirmed, I choose to drop the interview, instead feeding awesome bullshit out of my own imagination. However, to present a good HJ to masses waiting outside to meet him, I decided to bring him out of his insanity for a few moments with this potentially disturbing question!

BD – Aren’t you disturbed by reports that sedition charges could be pressed against you by the Govt in Delhi?

HJ (Wakes up) – No, the sedition charges don’t trouble me at all. What troubles me is, if Kashmir remains under India, and I were caught like this (see image below), and the govt chooses to press sodomy charges against me!

Pappi or Chumma, don't tell your Momma!

BD – Thank you, Mr HJ, for wasting my time. Do not be disheartened, though, for I shall employ all my awesome English speaking skills to paint you and your cause in good light to the loyal followers of our channel!


3 responses »

  1. political sattire has its i can how desperate u guys feel with geelani at the helm,calling shots n sticking to his guns.

    • hello boss??? What had haram khor geelani done to us indians to paint him in good light.. U muslims are bigots, u destroy whatever hindu culture we had in kashmir viz shardapeeth etc in the name of azadi and inspite of that u want us to be goody goody to u.. go s**k yourself cos u wont get even an inch of kashmir.. bharat mata ki jai

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